VOODOO YOUR EX
For anyone who has recently been spurned, dumped or two-timed the sight of a long-stemmed rose, a gipsy violinist or a gift box of Belgian truffles might evoke similar feelings of cold-blooded revenge and retribution. For all of you people may we offer our VOODOO YOU EX service. Just email us a photo of your treacherous former beau/belle, plus a list of five unpleasant fates that you would wish to befall them. For the modest sum of £19.99 (plus P&P) we will send you a voodoo doll bearing that person’s likeness with a different juju on each limb. Alternately you can pick up your doll from our shop in Shoreditch Box Park. And if you order it in time for our Valentine’s Day Masked Ball of the Full Moon on February 14th you can take part in a full voodoo hexing ceremony conducted by our hougan Dr Snaketongue and mambo Mother Carraway.
Of course we can’t promise that your faithless ex will suffer death or dismemberment in the classic tradition of Claudius and Al, but they might succumb to a migraine, a stubbed toe or an unexpected tax bill.